Hey folks! Nothing really pressing to report but I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection lately. This journey that I’m on has me thinking about what makes me, me.
Part of the reason why I chose “confidence” and “courage” as my words of the year is because I tend to let people dictate my life whether I realize it or not. I don’t want to be judged for anything that I do, so I conform to something. That’s dangerous thinking. Like Tyler Perry’s character Madea said in Madea’s Family Reunion (if you haven’t seen it, watch it. It has some good life lessons, surprisingly), “Honey, folks are gonna talk about you ’til the day you die, and ain’t nothing you can do. Let folks talk! It ain’t about what they call you … it’s what you answer to.”
I think that speaks volume to what I’m going through. Instead of worrying about what people are going to say, I just need to stand up and stay true to myself. I am who I am and can’t anyone change that.
I started wearing short sleeves or shorts in the 50 degree sunny weather because I truly start to sweat. People stare and I just stare back now. I’m reading and drawing again for my own personal pleasure and growth. I take out my camera and be the tourist that I am. I’ll go places by myself because I can. I’m working out and eating healthy for me and what I want in my life.
Now in no way is this an easy change. I picked up a package for this German girl that I knew but her roommate answered the door. I freaked out and just said, “ein Packet” instead of “Ich habe ein Packet” (which knew how to say) but I said something and that was a huge step for me. I’m working on embodying confidence and courage and it’s frustrating sometimes. In the end, I know it’ll all be worth it.
So that’s what I got for you today. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Like I said last post, I may or may not travel anywhere this weekend since I have a paper due next week. I’ll most likely post something though. Til then!
PS: If you need a good read that packs a punch, I recommend “The Crossroads of Should and Must” by Elle Luna. Here’s a link to some of the book but you should consider buying it: https://medium.com/@elleluna/the-crossroads-of-should-and-must-90c75eb7c5b0#.72hlo3nae
Song of the Day: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmQteGYBQQc